Married life and its complexities are influenced by many factors. Conflict with husband or wife is definitely impossible to avoid, but there are couples who can survive, and not a few ends up choosing divorce as the best way. In studying the causes of divorce, social research has two ways, namely observing various married couples and concluding what factors caused them to divorce, while the second way is conducting interviews with couples who choose to separate. There are many factors causing this divorce. In fact, a partner who looks ideal could be faced with this situation. Not only celebrities or politicians, people we know who look so affectionate and harmonious can also end their marriage. So, what causes a couple who feels harmonious and is fine suddenly can be dogged by divorce? Like the divorce in Muskogee Oklahoma.
There are 4 main causes of divorce as follows:
1. Infidelity A partner who has betrayed his marriage promise is the most frequent cause of the household breakdown. Those who feel hurt would prefer to separate. However, not a few couples have succeeded in going through this problem and agreed to open a new page in their marriage. It takes a strong commitment and sincerity to forgive.
2. Laziness Sometimes people don’t want to ‘work’ in a marriage. There is the wrong suggestion that marriage will make us happy. This leads to an erroneous perspective as if marriage is something separate from outside ourselves that will survive and thrive with minimal effort from husband and wife. Women often plan big things at their weddings. Everything for the wedding is prepared in as much detail as possible without knowing the actual wedding meal. Meanwhile, men are looking for partners who are willing to care for, cherish, and marry a woman who does not demand much of her. However, what happens if a couple is disappointed about their marriage? Unfortunately, they begin to look outside themselves to determine the fracture of their household rather than looking at the situation and questioning what can be done to improve the situation. The main thing that is often done is usually to blame each other. It is easier to blame your partner or the marriage itself. Usually, they run away from responsibility and are reluctant to think about changes that might be needed to improve things. People are too lazy to do self-exploration, learn to improve relationships, and try to fulfill the things that are needed in marriage. Marriage takes hard work and if both of them don’t have the commitment to work hard, then don’t expect the marriage to last long.
3. Lack of communication skills This is actually an easy and simple thing. However, many still don’t understand how to talk to one another and the art of listening. There are also many couples who avoid conversation simply because they are afraid of hurting each other. Regardless of the age of your marriage, communication is a key skill to have. The easiest way to build trust in marriage is through open and honest communication skills. If talking and listening do not become habits in the household, then there is no hope that the household will last forever. Communication can be a way to discuss solutions. Marriage problems cannot be solved without the will to communicate. You can find out how to effectively communicate with your partner since dating so that you don’t easily get emotional when you are under pressure. Communication before marriage can prevent unrealistic expectations that may arise in marriage.
4. Expectations that are too high Setting high expectations are good for getting our spirits up. However, this does not apply to weddings. High hopes combined with laziness will only result in a marriage ending in divorce. The woman who buys that expensive wedding dress may also have very high wedding expectations. Men and women alike make many assumptions about marriage and what to expect from a marriage. Expectations of marriage are seldom aligned with the realities of life as in marriage. There are many myths circulating in marriage, such as the belief that men only want sex in marriage or women are a waste of money. This misunderstanding often causes problems in marriage. In addition, both partners should also realize that married life will not escape the possibility of conflict. The causes can be various, including differences in educational background, culture, and expectations. Both partners need to recognize that they come from different backgrounds from one another. Make conflict an arena for increased mutual recognition between partners. For this reason, both partners should be able to manage and deal with conflicts in a compromising manner.