According to statistics, over 90% of Americans marry by the time they reach 50 and around 40% of first marriages end in divorce. When you’re madly in love or when a marriage is going well, the thought of one day hating your beloved partner can seem like an impossible joke. But all-too-often, acts of betrayal, ongoing distrust or simply growing apart over the course of time can create wedges built of fear, distrust, and seemingly endless rage. Of course, that rage and hatred do little but keep you rooted to the spot and unable to move on. Fortunately, there are some effective ways to ease the divorce process and stop hating your ex after a divorce.
Realize and Accept Your Ex Won’t Change
Couples can go through counseling, make outrageous promises to change, and even seem to be on the right track when they somehow run right into a bridge. If you’ve tried to get back on track, sought professional assistance, and fell for promise after empty promise, two options remain. Either stay in a miserable marriage or accept your ex doesn’t have the interest or ability to change and start contacting Michigan divorce lawyers.
Take a Social Media Sabbatical
It’s easy to forget just how many social media sites are out there until you peruse your phone or favorite tech device and see that snarky meme, obvious shade, or public flirt session. Many couples are connected to extended family and mutual friends, so disconnecting from your ex can be tough even if you stop following them directly. So instead, opt for a complete social media sabbatical. Choose a time period, inform your closest connections, and log out.
Change Your Perspective and Reroute Your Focus
The divorce process can shift many perspectives in your life, but it can also intensify your focus on the negative aspects. As easy as it is to hate the ex and blame him or her for everything that happened, it’s far more beneficial to focus on yourself. Making the conscious daily effort to drop the negative feelings about your ex helps expedite the healing on your end. It’s not about forgetting the past, it’s about focusing on your present and paving the future.
Be Consciously and Physically Aware of Your Emotions
Hatred can seem to take on a life of its own if you aren’t careful and attentive, so be consciously aware of your emotions during and after the divorce process. Being stuck on your ex is normal, but creating a cycle of habitual hatred and rage can hurt you far more in the long run. So pay attention to your emotions, write them down to keep track of flare-ups, and seek professional assistance if they get out of control.
Stop the Emotional and Verbal Self-Abuse
Negativity is contagious, and even if you finally avoid talking trash about your ex those thoughts and words can transfer to yourself. Thoughts and admissions such as “I deserved… I’m stupid… and I’m not worthy” can indefinitely extend the suffering and postpone your happiness. Shifting hatred between your ex and yourself only prolongs the anger and forces you to relive the past instead of letting go and focusing on positive changes and aspects of your life. If you can’t let go of the anger yourself, ask your Michigan divorce lawyers for professional suggestions for your needs and budget.